Subject: Ha. This is me turning your lying, backstabbing nature against you.
Me: I would just like to state that anything Dan said yesterday concerning my absence is a lie and it is clearly an attempt to Sabotage my character in the teachers minds in an attempt to raise his GPA.
Dan: its too bad everyone else all said exactly the same thing and already used the term sabotage on multiple occasions. but u can deny it. whatever.
Me: What? Grammar please.
Me: Oh. I was actually sick so there is nothing to deny. I'm not worried Dan. I just wonder how the teachers will feel about such treacherous acts of sabotage from one of their brightest students.
Dan: Zac, to be honest, really no one cares where you were. So you can deny it if you want, but no one is even going to pay any attention.
Me: I'm only going to deny it if it comes up in conversation. Just because you don't understand the real world and that character and honesty are the most important things in the eyes of people doesn't mean that I don't. If my teachers think highly of me I am bound to get a better grade than if they don't. What people think of your character is more important than your intelligence (which you lack) or your athleticism. If you come off as an egotistical, arrogant, scumbag (which you do). You won't do half as well as you think you will.
Dan: Actually, Isaac, what you fail to realize is that the arrogant scumbag is you, on the grounds that you are so wrapped up in yourself that you think that anyone really cares about where you were today, beyond simply getting a good-natured laugh at your lack of proper time management. By the time you get the make-up work, no one is going to even remember that you were absent today. You are simply an insignificant speck in society, compelled to embellish yourself with false praise because so simply cannot accept the fact that there are several people (including, yes, myself) who are simply beyond your level of analytical thinking. Come to terms with that and you might be on your way to overcoming the huge gap that lies between you and first in the class. Oh, and watch your grammar please.
Me: Oh Daniel. If anyone is to "embellish" themselves with false praise it would be you. Wait what? Embellish themselves. That is a complete misuse of the word.
Anyways, my arrogance is only bred by true superiority in my ability to think and analyze. Insignificant speck may be true but we are all insignificant specks. I apologize if your innate ability at certain subjects of your life has made you completely oblivious to the fact that you are not in fact better than everyone else. Especially me. I am sorry that you think your A+ in Math is an indicator of your enhanced analytical thinking. If you truly believe that my absence is due to my "poor time management" then you truly are an idiot. I am not a scumbag because I am not a mean and conniving bastard that has to do better than everyone else on every thing. I apologize that I am not an arrogant asshole to every one that I hold near and dear to my heart and I apologize that I don't feel the need to brag about all of my accomplishments in front of people who actually need support and attention. I apologize that I am not exactly like you in every possible way because if I was my feelings for myself and for my accomplishments would have become so disgusting and mundane years ago that would have surely killed myself.
Dan: Aww, do you need support and attention Zac?
And Zac, I do not need to do better on anything than anyone else. The fact that I do better than most people on many things just seems an aspect of my life that you can not get over. And Zac, the only subject in which you can have your glory is in history, but your grasp of concept and main ideas is extremely lacking. And your wrong, I think my continually more impressive grades, in math, English (all except for last quarter, congratulations), Spanish, and chemistry are evidence of my superior analytical thinking. And by the way, I do not brag about my accomplishments, you just seem to think that every time I get better grades than you, simply stating the facts when we get the tests or papers back constitutes bragging. I also apologize for the fact that your overly competitive, bellicose nature has forced you to overreact to the information that you stayed home to finish your chemistry paper, or at least told Emory that is what you were doing. I was not spreading this information for the sake of sabotage, but merely as a source of momentary entertainment at your expense, due mostly to the fact that I could care less about sabotaging you anyway, and the fact that staying home to finish a seven page term paper is hardly an action that would in any way diminish anyone's reputation. You need to get over yourself.
Me: Bellicose, using big words now, huh? Little baby's coming into the big leagues of vocabulary?
Daniel, you completely misinterpret my support and attention statement and if you honestly can't interpret that statement it shows your complete lack of understand and compassion that every other human has. I apologize that your robotic and unfeeling nature has led you to believe that you are better than everyone else. Daniel, my "grasp of concept and main ideas" in History is beyond your wildest understanding. I can link any other event to another and express the change over time and why the Magna Carta from 1215 affects modern-day Presidential succession. You don't even have a grasp on my abilities because I do not have the urge to showcase my massive intelligence upon everyone that I see. Your "grades" in Math, English, Chemistry, and Spanish have no impact on the representation of your knowledge of the subject or your critical thinking. I apologize that you believe that the antiquated theory that grades mean everything leads you to believe that you are truly superior to me. If anyone has a competitive nature it is you. If anyone needs the feeling of superiority over all around them to feel true happiness it is you. I can freely admit that there are many people truly superior to me but you are not one of them. Your maturity level and your ability to admit defeat are sorely lacking. I apologize that your success in the future will be less than stellar because of your inability to function in everyday situations. I also apologize that you have to spread rumors to get a little laugh to brighten up your day. It is truly saddening when someone of such potential has to make their life better at the expense of others. I apologize that you believe that I need to get over my self. I am sorry that you don't understand that character means everything to me. I feel bad that you think that I am an insignificant speck in my meaningless life.
I have news for you Dan Beemon. My intelligence, my shear will, and my determination will crush you like the scum that you are. Maybe not in High School or in College but when you reach the real world. I win.
Dan: Zac, I find TWO things funny at the moment: 1. That you have reacted so defensively and negatively to such a small and insignificant thing as me AND EMORY spreading the "rumor" that you stayed home to do your chemistry paper. 2. The fact that you feel the need to write longer responses and attempt to use bigger words than me in your ongoing attempt to beat at something, although you can have history. 3. That you fail to realize the hypocrisy in your statements that I feel a need to beat everyone.
P.S. I added the third to allow you to make a joke about my stupidity in math if you need a pick-me-up.
Zac: Well your statements don't warrant response due to their clear lack of thought and your undying requirement to accuse ME of being the egotistical competitive monster that must be true from your statements. I think it is clear that you have lost. There is no hypocrisy in my statements because you only know me as the person that competes with you. Your in for a news flash Daniel. I compete with you because I feel bad for you. I worry that you are eventually going to implode on yourself like a dying star. I won't compete with you anymore Dan. I won't ask you for your grade on the last test and I won't worry about how much better you are than me Dan. I never worry about that because I honestly don't have to. I know that to myself I am better than you and I know that there are people better than me Dan. You are just not one of them. I don't care what Emory did because I respect his integrity enough to believe him. I respect his CHARACTER enough to believe him. I don't respect yours or you for that matter. I don't need to KNOW that I have beat you because I already have. Just because you don't understand that character and honesty don't mean half as much to you as they do to me and to everyone else doesn't mean I reacted defensively. Character and honesty are the foundations of our society and I don't care if you attack my academic record or my athleticism. My character is my most cherished thing and when it is attacked you can be dam'n sure I am going to defend it.
Goodnight Daniel.
PS. I don't need to make jokes about you as a pick-me-up. Just the fact that you find it necessary to build in such a blatant mistake to appease me shows your true lack of maturity and your inability to survive in the real world.
As I said before, Goodnight Daniel.
Dan (written before he read my last one): I will also grant you the last word with your next statement, so if you could sum things up, that would be great.
Love,
Dan xoxo
Zac: Goodnight Daniel.
